I have one regret. I don’t have
more of Arthur on video. And I have over a hundred
hours of him on video. One of the
things we did in 2010 was produce a weekly hour-long TV show called “A Question
of Meaning.” The show consisted entirely of the two of us talking about subjects
of interest to us. This means I have 52
hours of us talking to each other. What a gift…and I still want more (grief
is insatiable).
It’s like a miracle when I
watch one of the AQOM shows. For an hour it’s like Arthur is right here with
me. In the following segment we answer a viewer’s question about the nature of
our relationship.
But my advice to everyone and
anyone is to take more video. Take more photos. When someone you love dies you will
never have enough.
Don’t just video special
moments. Video ordinary moments. I have video of Arthur and I playing cards
with his parents, for an entire hour (the length of the videotape, this was in
1994). And video of an entire Thanksgiving dinner with them. These are precious
because they capture life. Not people
posed for the camera, or extraordinary moments of excitement, but those moments
that seemed very ordinary at the time but in retrospect have become very precious.
Having only every known "you" in this twosome, it is beautiful to see you engaging with Arthur. Although relative to your grief nothing is enough now that Arthur is gone, I'm so glad for you that you have these tapes. And also so grateful that you are sharing them here in this deeply personal part of your partnership.
ReplyDeleteM. Jamieson